To introverts, the word “friend” is honorable. Someone we call a friend is very special to us, as they are someone whom we have let into our private and deep inner world.
On the other hand, there are people who call almost anyone a friend. They might meet someone once and already refer to them as a friend, frequently mentioning “my friend” who did something or “my friend” who works somewhere. As an introvert, I often find myself wondering: Are all these people genuinely your friends?
Extroverts often have a variety of friends: casual friends, close friends, friends from work, friends from school, and even friends from a show they participated in 10 years ago — embracing the philosophy of “the more, the merrier.”
As an introvert, though, my approach to making friends is different.
I can spend months analyzing particular people I’ve met, wondering if I would consider them as potential close friends. Would they be willing to sit and have a deep conversation with me? Would I want to engage in meaningful conversations with them? Are they someone I can trust to have my back? And would they understand if I sometimes want to be alone?
Only Certain People Will Make the Cut
Because we “quiet ones” often spend considerable time analyzing someone’s potential as a friend, only a few people actually make the cut.
This might give the impression that we are unfriendly or unwilling to make an effort. However, that might not be the case; we may simply have specific criteria for making friends and prefer a small circle of close friends.
As a result, we get to know these inner-circle friends thoroughly, just as they get to know us. For example, if I had a list of 10 important facts about myself, I would expect anyone I call a friend to be aware of them. They would also be adept at discerning my feelings in most situations — they could tell when I’m sad, happy, or just so-so.
Because introverts tend to favor a close, tight-knit friend group, we become extremely comfortable around those friends, able to be ourselves.
For years, I spent much of my life faking it: putting on a smile, forcing a laugh, feigning interest in conversations about the latest TV shows, and so on. I’d be nice to new people while hiding my exhaustion and longing to be alone.
Being in a room full of outgoing people, where I feel obligated to make small talk, is overwhelming for me — it’s like having to wear a mask that doesn’t quite fit.
About the Author
Miss Tatsu @misstatsu @misstatsunee creates vlogs 🍝 Living in Philippines. Eczema survivor and food adventurer. Crafter and passionate VA 💌 For business and collaborations send me a message: https://twitter.com/MissTatsuNee
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